Monday 22nd August 11
Rob on exercise on Salisbury Plain all week. Has important visit on Wednesday from very senior politician. Rob plans to put him in turret of Warrior. I observe that he is quite a tubby chap and I hope he doesn’t get wedged in. Rob getting fancy new uniform or ‘costume’ as Amy says. Consists of frock coat with lots of frogging, tight black trousers and spurs. Funky!
Tuesday 23rd August 11
News full of what is happening in Libya. Explain situation in brief to Tom as concerned children don’t take interest in current affairs or recognise seriousness of events. Tom listens attentively but then asks Amy as she enters room ‘ Have you heard about Colonel Gaddafodil?’ and she replies ‘Do you mean Colonel Gaddaffyduck?’ . I give up.
Wednesday 24th August 11
Amy, Tom, Pepper and I drive to Lulworth Cove for day out. We plan to walk to Durdle Door and have a picnic. Have panic on reaching Durdle Door that dogs will not be allowed on beach in summer months. Look over cliff at beach. Needn’t have worried as lots of families paddling and picnicking with dogs of all shapes and sizes. Think is very British thing to take dogs everywhere. Walk down steep path to beach, eat our own picnic and then Tom goes off and finds ledge up cliff to read book. Pepper starts snuffling and digging up pebbles and finally finds Tom’s sandwich crusts which he has obviously buried to avoid being told to eat them. Reminds me of lump of cucumber secreted in end of baguette. Quite admire his inventiveness. Amy and I affronted as we are invaded by large group of German students. They practically surround us and are so close that their stuff touches my shoe. Is personal space on beaches a peculiarly British requirement? We glare at them. Momentarily wonder whether I am turning into Victor Meldrew before collecting up stuff and moving to less crowded stretch of beach.
Thursday 25th August 11
Hector (boy) comes to stay. Don’t think he likes my cooking. Chilli mince not well received. Getting fed up of running round after children so tell Tom to find bedding to make up sofa bed where he and Hector intend to sleep (in order to be well placed to play Call of Duty on PS3 until moment they fall asleep and from moment they wake up.)
Friday 26th August 11
Tom announces decision to cook fried egg breakfast for himself and Hector. Tetchiness with domestic servitude worsens when I enter kitchen and inhale noxious smell of burnt egg and discover eggy plates on table, eggy pan unwashed and cooker splattered with burnt egg. Seethe silently. Mood not improved when strip sofa bed in study and discover best linen table cloth has been used as bottom sheet by 2 smelly teenage boys. Bleagh. Emily collects Hector at 11am and I then drive Tom 55 miles to Swindon to meet his girlfriend. Am I mad? What on earth had I been smoking/ drinking when I agreed to it? Turn left onto road between Wilton and A303. Immediate sign for road works and traffic lights ahead. Come to stop behind lorry which I think is in queue to get through said road works. Only after about 8 minutes of not moving and queue of patient fellow motorists building up behind me do I edge round lorry and realise that it is in fact parked and that the road ahead is clear. Oops. Very embarrassing. Can feel cheeks burning. Drive off at top speed which is a bit silly as am sure other drivers do not intend to chase and berate me. At Marlborough Tom asks not unreasonably if we can have some new conditioner as he is concerned to be meeting girlfriend smelling of white nectarine and coral flower. Have several hours to kill in Swindon while Tom spends time with girlfriend. Buy six jumpers in H and M. Eat large cake and read paper in Marks and Spencers. Have run out of things to do when see advert in Body Shop window offering free skin consultations. Woman in shop is very nice and tells me I have lovely skin and don’t look 45. I like her immediately and vow to buy all skin products in Body Shop in future. Rob already back from exercise on Salisbury Plain when Tom and I get home. Looking very manly ( if a bit grubby) in his combats. Very pleased to see him. Take him beer and crisps to have in bath.
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