WEEK 18 - 15TH-21ST jULY 2011

Friday 15^th July 11

Tom finishes school early due to Founders Day at school tomorrow morning. Receive text mid morning which says ’Bus departs Salisbury 14.45 and arrives 15.18 Broadchalke. Welcoming committee would be appreciated’. Which is Tomspeak for ‘ Please meet me from the bus’

Amy’s 15^th birthday. Present opening in evening after her return from seeing final Harry Potter, slightly manic and wearing geeky 3D glasses and black zig-zag ‘scar’ on forehead. Pepper further enrages cat by sticking head through cat flap while cat on other side. Think dog is either youthfully enthusiastic or just a bit thick.

 Saturday 16^th July 11

Pepper continues to settle in well but is quite naughty;

- Seems to think it is Ok to sit on sofa. It isn’t.

- Keeps putting paws on kitchen work surface

- Did big poo on patio

- Made large puddle on spare room carpet. Have to face possibility that

1. Carpet will be stained yellow

2. Room will forever smell of dog wee.

Am trying to stay calm as more to life than nice carpets.

Kiki clearly a cat on the edge. Is tense and moody and bites me when I give her a reassuring pat. Also swipes Hector’s nose with paw when he does the same.(Reassures her that is. Hector has not learnt to pat the cat)

Monday 18^th July 11

Progressing towards animal harmony. Cat sniffs new dogs back leg when dog not looking but then retreats under footstool growling menacingly. When Rob and I walk dogs, cat follows us for 100 metres, hiding in hedge when we look round. Who says cats aren’t team players?

While walking, woman in village sees us coming and exclaims’ Another greyhound!’ Rob says rather tersely ‘She’s a lurcher’ but woman takes no notice and says Pepper has Italian greyhound ears.

After dinner children a bit testy. Conversation as follows;

Amy; ‘You act as though I’m stupid’ (Bends down to pick up cat) ‘I’m a lot more intelligent than you’

Tom; ‘Are you talking to the cat?’

Ouch.

Make shopping list for exciting trip to Ikea with Emily tomorrow which consists mainly of vanilla candles to cover smell of dog farts. Find later that Tom has added the following items;

Moose flesh for voodoo

A duck’s spleen

A Whales placenta

The…

Think he got bored at this point and went off to watch The Simpsons with his father.

Tuesday 19^th July 11

Trip to Ikea abandoned. Amy unwell and Emily arrives to tell me one of their oak trees lost a large branch in the night which has taken out electricity and phone lines. Emily furious at long conversation with BT employee who, after Emily had explained everything, offered to do a test to determine where the fault was. Emily told him she knew where the fault was as was standing in garden looking at two ends of broken telephone cable. Incroyable!

Wednesday 20^th July 11

Pepper behaviour less than exemplary;

-          Starts barking at 6am

-          In morning digs big hole in vegetable patch scattering soil over patio

-          Constant farting. Am getting through a lot of scented candles

-          In afternoon as I am mowing, digs hole in back lawn

-          Keeps biting Hector’s ears

-          At dinner, steals a potato from Tom’s plate

Feeling stressed at everything need to do before driving to Yorkshire on Friday morning and wondering whether will actually manage to get 2 teenagers, 2 dogs, a cat, ridiculous amounts of luggage and me in the BMW. Also concerned about dynamics between new dog and cat and how we will cope with all the farting in a confined space. Mother calls and asks whether I would consider stopping in Marlborough on my way North to buy her some fabric for cushions!! No! Am forced to open bottle of wine to calm jangling nerves.

Thursday 21^st July 11

Tom explains to me that if you strap a piece of buttered toast to a cat’s back ( butter side up) and throw cat/toast into the air a vortex will be created and the cat/toast will be unable to land because cats always land on their feet and buttered toast always lands butter side down.

Am faced with problem of how to contain cat until tomorrow morning when we depart for Yorkshire. Think will have to lock cat flap and get cat to use litter tray. Am worried about this plan for a number of reasons namely whether the cat will remember how to use a litter tray, whether new dog will try to eat contents of litter tray and that by the time we have to catch cat at 6.30am tomorrow and stuff her in her cat box for journey to Yorkshire, she will be very cross.  She will be even crosser when she realises she is under house arrest for the duration of our stay in Yorkshire.