WEEK 4 - 8-14th April 2011

Friday 8^th April

Helped Tom pack his bag and suggested to Amy we checked hers ( already packed). Idea met with frosty response but fortunate that insisted as salopettes absent and discovered still hanging in wardrobe.

Noted when watering garden later that something has eaten the new hellebore. Mentioned this to Rob on departure to France. Think we have slugs. Discussion of possible remedy. Discounted slug pellets as could prove fatal to cat. Therefore need cat friendly solution. Tom remembered shallow tray of beer placed in flower bed and said that the worst outcome would be cat getting slightly drunk and eating the odd slug. Will sort out on return home on 20^th April.

Good journey to Channel Tunnel despite start of Easter holiday. Children happy and settled in back of car with Ipod and Nintendo. Amy observed that Tom was wearing carpet slippers for extra comfort.

Pleased with new sat Nav until reached Calais and drove in circles round shopping centre for 20 minutes. Resulted in us ignoring Sat Nav ( much to its consternation and endless ‘recalculating’ comments)and simply following signpost to Rheims.

On arrival Rheims appeared dark and sinister. Probably due to tiredness, although this wouldn’t account for the large number of funeral parlours we passed on the way in. Rheims clearly ‘death centre’ of France. After unloading enormous quantity of luggage into Aparthotel, ventured out to buy Domino pizzas, wine and coke, and returned to apartment after which we all felt better.

Saturday 9^th April

Beauty of Rheims cathedral induced frenzy of photography in both children, like small, demented Japanese tourists.

On car journey to Alps interesting discussion of who was worse, Hitler or Stalin. Amy concluded Stalin on account of his tendency to have people he didn’t like ‘liquidised’. Rob explained this did not involve use of giant blender. Amy said ‘I knew that’. Rob said ‘Just checking’.

Stopped at town at bottom of Alps to do supermarket shop and somehow crammed overflowing bags into already full car.

Checked into apartment block. Two attractive (according to Amy) teenage boys manning reception desk and Amy mortified  that as I was filling in form there was a cucumber and box of sanitary towels sticking out of my shoulder bag.

Sunday 10^th April

First day of skiing.

Noted that children have vastly different styles of preparation and ski wear. Amy took AGES to get ready and opted to ski in scoop neck t-shirt, sunglasses, Jack Wills gilet and, (grudgingly) salopettes. Tom was ready before anyone else and insisted on fastening every last popper and piece of Velcro before even leaving apartment block. Pointing out that this was not strictly necessary had no effect.

 All got quite sunburnt despite slapping on factor 30. Look like family of prawns. Tom and I quickly returned to normal colour. Rob and Amy remain bright red. My right knee very painful after a couple of hours on slopes and remember belatedly that have had knee surgery since last ski holiday. Oops.

Monday 11^th April.

Amy distressed to wake up as red as yesterday like human glow worm. Visible even in darkened room. Intended to be on skis by 8.45 but instead opted for lie in. Came back to apartment for lunch. Produced salad as concerned diet becoming overly French- pate, cheese, bread etc. Discovered when clearing away that Tom had secreted lump of cucumber in hollowed out end of baguette. Why do I bother? Will insist on broccoli with enchiladas for dinner. 

Wednesday 13^th April

Called father to wish him happy 74^th birthday but he was at the doctors having an M.O.T.  Called back. He was having a nice birthday and had received (in addition to Sat Nav) a weather vane in the shape of a cockerel for the top of his shed. Spoke to Hector (dog) who was well (according to Mother. )Hector is a dog of a few words.

Thursday 14^th April

Snowing as headed out to slopes past the crèche which Rob calls the baby prison. Lots of very small children in ski wear all fenced in. Doesn’t look much fun. Sounds of children crying and some singing. The prison song perhaps? Am sure they would all rather be at home watching Pingu on TV. Last day of skiing for me as will have to spend tomorrow morning packing and cleaning apartment before departure for Paris. Huge feeling of relief as reached bottom of slopes for last time. Told Rob how glad I was. He thought I was joking!

Spent afternoon in apartment with Amy who alternately worked on Art GCSE coursework and stood in front of mirror removing peeling skin from face with tweezers. Her appearance gradually returning to normal after several days.

Took break to return skis and find anniversary card for Rob. (17 years tomorrow). In one shop, owner called me over to counter and pointed at security cameras. Momentarily worried Amy had been caught shoplifting but noted shop owner was laughing. Finally worked out she was watching Amy on camera, dancing behind one of the displays. Amy very embarrassed and asked if we could please leave shop immediately and never return.

Bumped into Tom and Rob sitting outside Carrefour drinking coca lite. Amy blurted that we were looking for anniversary card but all had so far been rejected by me as too expensive. OMG. 'Gob like the Tyne Tunnel' as we used up North!