WEEK 1 -18-24TH MARCH 2011

A YEAR OF MY LIFE -THE DIARY OF KAREN HOWIESON

Friday 18^th March 11

Amy announced in car on way home that a Chinese restaurant in Salisbury has been closed down by Health Inspectors as discovered selling cat meat (actual cats, not cat food). Tom and I horrified and make appropriate ‘Yuk’ noises.

Arrived home from work and was letting dog out of back door when heard ear splitting scream from Amy in kitchen. Had found back half of dead rabbit on Persian rug next to sofa. Cut off neatly at the waist. No sign of front half of rabbit so presumably in cat. Cat grumpy and bitey later when stroked. Possibly sore tummy from too much rabbit?

Saturday 19^th March 11

Drove through Salisbury in morning. Notice Chinese ‘cat meat’ restaurant open for business as usual. Asked Amy where she had heard about closure. Apparently from Izzy who had heard it from another girl ‘So it must be true’. Clearly not. Talked to Amy about slander laws.

Staying with Bridget and Stu at Amersham. Lovely to see them. Huge and gorgeous house. Makes ours seem very small and scruffy, which depresses me for about 48 hours until I regain sense of perspective.

Delicious sausage and onion casserole for lunch but out of corner of my eye could see Tom picking out every onion. Hector had leftovers. Lucky dog. All went for walk in Chilterns. Got lost due to a bit of ‘creative navigating’ from Stu.

Got back to the house and Hector regurgitated huge volume of sausage and onion casserole all over oak kitchen floor.  Everyone slightly stunned. Noticed Rob disappeared very quickly ‘To give Hector some fresh air’. Fell to me to clear it up. Just glad it wasn’t on the cream carpet.

Monday 21^st March 11

Rob departed for work at 6.50am. Started lengthy suggestion on door step of note I should leave plumber asking if he had found reason for smelly loo in ensuite. Felt was not best time for this conversation and wondered why hadn’t been mentioned the night before.

While preparing evening meal Tom came into kitchen and said that Amy had asked him if Gold was a plant. Sincerely hope she was joking and hadn’t asked science teacher same question. Told Tom he must not say his sister is retarded.

No sign of plumber. Loo still smelly.

Tuesday 22^nd March 11

Got home and unpacked Tesco shopping. Noted black marks all the way up the (new and pale) stair carpet and across landing to Amy’s room. Shouted up to Amy that she should take her shoes off downstairs in future.  Outraged reply that she had done so and that cat was probable culprit. Marks seem to be oil / grease.   God knows where cat has been. Managed to remove marks with soap and wet cloth. Phew. Later, found more of same marks on window sill in kitchen, so definitely cat.

No sign of plumber. Rather frustratingly, loo now less smelly.

Wednesday 23rd March 11

Tom distraught in morning as watch battery has failed. Demanded  to be supplied with spare watch. Pointed out that we didn’t have one.  Shouting from Amy’s room as was trying to put in contact lenses. Tom came in and said he had decided to take Amy’s alarm clock to school as his new school trousers have big pockets. Amy not happy. Told Tom this was ridiculous idea and to give clock back. He accused me of not understanding and flounced out. Responded loudly that I understood perfectly as same had happened to me at times in past and I managed by using clocks in building and asking friends the time and that he should get a grip! Disturbing that temporary loss of watch should cause such consternation. OCD tendency?

 Met Amy in Sainsbury’s after work as had to do MORE food shopping. She asked me what I did to rebel when young and how old I was when I did it. Not keen to give too much away. Said I thought university was best time to rebel as fewer parental restrictions. Feel this may just be putting off inevitable.

H Samuel said it will take 10 days to replace Tom’s watch battery as is a G Shock and has to be sent away. Oh dear. He won’t be happy.

Tried to do washing and cleaning as guest arriving for weekend on Friday at 4 and 8 people also coming for dinner Friday night. Phone handed to me by Tom as I was inside downstairs shower cleaning. Mr Howard. Father of triplets Amy staying with in London this weekend. He asked if he was disturbing me. May have overheard my rather terse ‘Who is it?’ to Tom. Explained no, was just cleaning shower at 8.30pm on Wednesday which is normal for working mother. He laughed. Clearly thought I was barking mad.

No plumber. Have been using downstairs shower all week as requested so rather irritating.

Thursday 24^th March 11

Tom appeared at breakfast wearing Amy’s watch. Said she had lent it to him so crisis averted. Punctuality clearly nor high on Amy’s list of priorities.

After work tried and failed to buy the children new salopettes as old ones tight like sausage skins. Incredibly, man in Sports Direct didn’t know what salopettes were which didn’t bode well. Eventually found 4 pairs in shop but all for large men. Went to station for Amy train ticket and then bought petrol for mower. Had to drive home with all windows open as fumes very strong.

Tried to do some cooking in advance of Friday’s dinner party while also cooking dinner for 5. Tom given task of screening calls. Bridget phoned. Tom passed phone to me and immediately  started waving to get my attention. Why do children always do this? Closed eyes so better able to concentrate. Tom still there when opened eyes so left room. Tom followed. Made ‘Talk to the hand’ gesture in attempt to give clear message. When came off phone Tom revealed that he had just cracked back tooth. Produced shards of tooth as evidence. Felt very guilty. Wonder if shard is part of root of baby tooth that has worked to surface of gum? Dental check up in month’s time. Is this soon enough?

At 8.45pm Amy still not started packing for weekend in London. At 9.30 Tom still watching Friends re-runs.

Copyright 2012. Karen Howieson. All rights reserved.