Friday 1st April
Kicked headless bird with bare foot when opening kitchen blinds at 6.30am. Must put lights on next time. Horrible and on Persian rug AGAIN. Is it possible to re-educate cat to become peace loving vegetarian instead of psychotic, flesh eating mass murderer?
Plumber called at 7.20am. Hoorah! Is coming to house today. Hope loo is good and smelly to illustrate problem.
Amy came to my desk at lunchtime to show me the prawn sandwich she had bought for lunch. Nice to see her as always but does make me wonder which planet she hails from.
Rob emailed to say that one of Sunday lunch guests is a vegetarian but eats quorn. Makes plan of Sunday roast a bit tricky. Can I present her with slab of quorn and gravy? Does quorn come in slabs? Will consult vegetarian but fish eating sister.
Have just received second email from Rob saying that a lump of quorn plus vegetables will keep guest very happy. She is obviously easily pleased is all I can say as sounds revolting.
Rob , Hector and I decamped to village pub for nice quiet Friday evening pint. Returned home and phoned parents to check on status of horse fly bite. Mother much recovered and in fact painting kitchen. Father in wild gesticulation mode over supper one night had knocked glass of red wine down wall and repainting only option to remove stain.
The plumber has been. Has done various jobs but has not found cause of smelly loo. Aaaggghhhh! Says will investigate further next week.
Saturday 2nd April
Got up early to make cup of tea and to keep Amy company before she set off for work at village shop. Startled when filling kettle by deafening clap of thunder. Amy appeared in kitchen . Asked conversationally if she had heard thunder and she said ‘No when was it?’ I said ‘about 5 minutes ago’ to which she replied rather testily ‘How could it be 5 minutes ago, it was already light’. Rather lost for words at this point. Explain patiently that storms CAN take place during the day. Glad Tom still asleep so no use of the ‘R’ word. Took Rob up cup of tea. He was lying in bed with cat on his chest. Something of a turnaround as he professes to hate cat who he has christened ‘ Pussferatu’ and makes big fuss if she ever sneaks onto our bed for a snooze. Think Rob actually loves cat but doesn’t want to admit it.
Spend morning catching up on domestic chores. Tom despatched to garden to help Rob move Silbury Hill. (7 tonne mound of top soil left by builders last Autumn) Tom not used to military style discipline. Appeared at French doors pushing wheelbarrow with desperate expression on face and mouthing ‘Help me!’ Decided ( meanly?) to keep out of it.
Sunday 3rd April
Mother’s day but nevertheless got up at 8. Pegged washing on line in pyjamas and then peeled vegetables for lunch and made crumble topping. Went back to bed for cup of tea and cards/pressies. Friends arrived for Sunday lunch. Managed to drop tray of roast potatoes on floor when removing from oven and then skidded on pea and fell headlong on floor of laundry room with just legs visible through kitchen door. Think guests may have wondered if I had been drinking. Hadn’t had so much as a sip of wine at this point but decided that may as well go for it so downed half a bottle of white. Sleepy but fortunately less clumsy for remainder of afternoon.
Spoke to parents in morning to wish Little Norms Happy Mother’s Day. Dad has bought himself a Sat Nav for birthday in 2 weeks time. Interesting choice for technophobe who avoids computer and DVD. Think Mother will have to learn to use it and will then get shouted at when goes wrong.
Rob observed in evening that cat appears to be getting hairier and is starting to look like Yak. Prompted furious defence of cats appearance from Amy who said that cat is smooth and silky and always smells nice ‘and not because I spray her with perfume’ Hmmm. Had noticed bottle of Marc Jacobs Daisy was going down quickly.
Monday 4th April
Having to change ski resorts on account of there being no snow left at Morzine/ Avoriaz! Having secret misgivings about holiday which when analysed boil down to
1. Going to new and alien ski resort
2. Thought of all packing will have to do
3. Not really liking snow. Think wise to keep this to myself.
Wednesday 6th April
Frantic week. Trying to get ready to go away on holiday combined with last minute gardening. Have mowed lawn and sown grass seed but still need to dig in more plants and potatoes before departure. In trouble with Rob when he arrived home as had got carried away and sown grass over proposed potato patch. Oops. Offered him cold beer in attempt to mollify but he said ‘No’ in ‘Don’t be ridiculous’ manner so abandoned him in garden and went to make curry.
Laundry room floor now black as Hector insists on walking over areas of garden covered with top soil and failing to wipe feet on entering house.
Packing last night made stressful as discovered my ski gloves missing. Amy last user on D of E weekend in Feb. She refused to admit they were lost despite them being
- Impossible to find and
- not remembering where she had put them.
Wondered how she would therefore define lost. No apology forthcoming. Further irritated by Amy insistence that high heeled boots were appropriate footwear for ski resort and sightseeing in Paris
Thursday 7th April
Hector’s 12th birthday!
All got up and went out to car to wish him Happy Birthday and goodbye as Rob taking him to Shrivenham from where friend is transporting him to Yorkshire to spend Easter holiday with parents while we are away. Sad to see him go. He, on other hand was so excited and jittery at early morning excursion that he was sick on grass.
All went inside for breakfast where Amy charmingly revealed that she had woken up with dried snot on her face. Tom eating peculiar breakfast of raw oatmeal, milk and Demerara sugar. Amy enquired whether I knew there was pile of dog sick on front lawn at which point Tom said ’Do you mind, I’m eating’ which I thought was fair point although double standards for someone with often unspeakable habits.
Had call Thursday morning while at desk to say Tom’s watch ready for collection. Saw Amy at lunchtime. Gave her £20 note and receipt and asked her to collect watch when in town with Izzy after school. At end of day Amy came to deposit bags with me and I reminded her about watch at which point she revealed she couldn’t locate money or receipt. Speechless with exasperation. She went off to look for them and called on mobile to say had found both in locker.
Tom and I got home at 5 and started packing. Got call from Amy to say that after over an hour in town she had gone to H Samuel at 5.15 and they were closed. Unbelievable! Very cross. Went outside to do more last minute gardening to take my mind off it.
Zumba in evening. Am accompanied by Izzy and Amy. Coordination noticeably worse than last week.
loving all of it, keep it coming! x
ReplyDelete