Friday 17th June 11
Meet Tom and three friends in Sainsbury’s car park. Sleepover at our house. Tom finishing off mint Aero and smarties milkshake. Even more revoltingly his friend Sam has just finished Bakewell tart and custard milkshake on top of bag of chips. Yuk! Worry that boys may actually be sick on way home so drive slowly up the Chalke Valley. Prepare huge supper of chicken and chips for boys and Amy and then Rob, Hector and I escape to pub. Debate whether taking dog is wise decision as is doing awful cabbagy farts.
Show Rob article in paper saying that shirts worn by Bee Gees and John Travolta in Saturday Night Fever are apparently back in fashion. Later Rob enters sitting room with shirt unbuttoned to waist and asks us what we think. Fortunately no sign of medallion but still gets unanimous thumbs down.
Saturday 18th June 11
After breakfast Rob buys car. Alpha Romeo Brera. Hasn’t yet sold old car so we now have 3 cars ( 2 of which look the same to me) and no money.
Get ready for Allison and Stephen’s wedding. Tell Rob we need to leave at 11am but he decides to clean car and is still wandering round the garden in his jeans with bucket and sponge at 10.40. Try to stay calm to avert tension induced migraine. Rob comes in at 10.45 and announces it only takes 10 minutes to drive to Tisbury so we don’t need to leave until 11.30. Aaaaggghhh.
Leave the house at 11am. Just as well, as manage to find every church in Tisbury except the one where the wedding is taking place.
Lovely wedding service and surprisingly brief despite 5 hymns and Holy Communion and Allison’s suggestion that we might want to bring a book. Torrential showers have everyone dashing back into church during the photos. Rain stops and everyone emerges from church only for rain to start again. Rob and I make a run for the car which Rob has parked against grassy bank. I cannot get into passenger seat and have to hurl myself onto back seat. Manoeuvre made difficult by very tight dress. Worry that large silk hat lent by Julia will become misshapen due to dampness.
Wonderful wedding reception in Bowerchalke village hall, apart from Rob informing me AFTER half hour conversation with friends doing catering that I have red lipstick on both canines ‘which looks quite horrible’ like vampire. Tempted to pour glass of wine over his head. Afterwards R and I don jeans and boots and walk home across the fields. Takes an hour but at least is sunny and warm. Feel very tired when get home (nothing to do with volume of champagne and wine consumed)and have brief power nap on sofa.
Have supper on laps with Amy and Tom and watch film. Rob clears away plates. Amy leaves room and exclaims loudly that cat has been sick in food bowl to which Rob says ‘ No she hasn’t that’s your mothers lasagne’. Not very nice.
Wednesday 22nd June 11
No enquiries about Alfa Romeo for sale. Panic slightly and go to ‘Bank of Dad’ to ask for bridging loan. Request granted!
Amy arrives home in high spirits and announces that Zombie auditions are being held for Brad Pitt’s latest film for which you get paid £130 per day. Refrain from making smart arse comment about typecasting but do point out that as auditions are in Glasgow and that filming takes place during the last week of the school term, I don’t think it’s a goer. Amy says she wishes she had a fun parent. Oh dear.
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