WEEK 2 - 25th-31st March 2011

Friday 25^th March 11

Got up early. House silent  and full of sleeping people. Cat stretched out at top of stairs. Sat down and stroked her and thought what nice peaceful moment at start of day. Then she bit me.

Amy going to London straight after school. Revealed as drove into car park at school that her phone was out of battery. Got quite angry and said if couldn’t charge phone during day, trip to London would be called off. Much wailing and gnashing of teeth from Amy who said I was being irrational. This made situation somewhat worse. Took her phone and said I would try and borrow charger from colleagues. Phoned Rob from med room and was in mid rant about Amy lack of responsibility when deputy head came in to find remote control which I hide there.

Sunday 27^th March 11

Massive bonfire in garden.  Still burning with big flames when we went to bed. Concerned that spark may set fire to pregnant sheep at end of garden or at least burn down our shed or garden fence. Rob refused to take these concerns seriously. Looked out of window as soon as woke up this morning. Sheep, shed and fence all intact and fire out. Phew.

Monday 28^th March

Struggled to get up at 6.30. Still dark, thanks to start of British summertime. Had to leave home early to take BMW to garage. Progress towards this objective hampered by Tom having nosebleed and getting several drops of blood on pale sandy bedroom carpet. Aaaghh. Carpets doomed! Spent precious minutes dabbing at carpet bloodstains.  Mood made worse by Amy complaining of feeling ill, Tom saying he hadn’t slept a wink and argument over who wears the watch reigniting. Left home 5 minutes earlier than necessary to escape.

Rob spent large part of evening trying to buy salopettes on internet. Children instructed to measure waist and inside leg. Amy very grumpy about being disturbed. Gave small but heated lecture on fact that children being taken on expensive ski holiday and efforts being made by parents to buy new clothing in time. Demanded apology for spoilt brat outburst which was given, albeit grudgingly. Still no salopettes. Will look in Salisbury again tomorrow.

Have decided want to be interior designer.

Still no plumber. Unbelievable.

Tuesday 29^th March 11

Came into kitchen and noticed cat squatting like malevolent toad on rug next to sofa, gloating over parts of large mouse. Why always on the rug??

Met Tom in town after school and managed to find salopettes in Oswald Bailey. Hoorah! Collected Amy from self defence, which always makes me smile as she is very small like Mighty Mouse, but perhaps self defence skills all the more necessary because of this? Drove home.

Tom said there were 2 male ducks fighting at his school today. He thinks they were love rivals and speculated what a shame it would be if the victor was to discover that the object of his affections was a lesbian. I said I wasn’t sure whether there was such a thing as a gay duck. Tom announced that he had seen once seen a camp duck, to which Amy replied that no he hadn’t. Tom then said that he had seen a camp dog. We asked where and he said ‘In our house’ ie Hector. I don’t think Hector is camp, although Rob has commented in the past that he is rather ‘metro sexual’ whatever that means.

Still on the duck theme, Tom said that the site team at school had caught the fighting ducks. Day destined to continue with duck theme as message on answer phone from Katie-Jayne asking if I could put ducks and chickens away at dusk.

Ducks well behaved and orderly as usual but chickens really naughty and wouldn’t go into houses. Chased them all over the place in semi darkness, cursing. Randomly put them away in the 3 houses. Worried later while reading in bed that they might be disorientated if in wrong house. Think one chicken was only occupant of middle coop and possibly feeling the cold/ lonely without feathered companions. However, didn’t feel strongly enough at 11pm to don wellies, jumper  and head torch to go rearrange chicken sleeping arrangements.

 Thursday 31^st March

Spoke to Mum and Dad in morning. Poor Mum has been bitten on head by horse fly and suffering allergic reaction. According to Dad she looks like prize fighter with big swollen face. I think unwise to tell Mum this in case of reprisals.

Went to first Zumba class in village hall! Part of one dance was to put arms out to side and shake body – presumably seductive if you have big chest and curves like belly dancer. I was more concerned that people behind me would have view of my bum wobbling uncontrollably. Clenched buttocks as I did it to reduce wobble. 

Copyright 2012 Karen Howieson. All rights reserved.